My Dear Brothers,
We, as women, see you.
We see the fight you are engaged in.
We want you to know that you do not fight in vain, nor without gratitude.
In the times of knights and castles—in stories such as Braveheart—men went into battle for the protection of women and children, as well as their beliefs.
Now, you are fighting a similar fight. But instead of battlefields, it is within your mind and heart that war has been waged. Here you fight, day and night, against the lies of the enemy and the desires of the Fall. You fight for our dignity. You fight for our hearts. You fight for Love.
You must combat the lie that this lust within you is the love that you were created for. The lie that the beauty of a woman lies in her body alone. The lie that conquering her makes you more of a man.
Instead, it is quite the opposite. It is the fight against this that makes you more of a man. This fight to be more; to love more, to see more.
As women, we long to be seen for more than our bodies. To be cherished, not used. We want to be beautiful to you, not just for our clothes and make-up, but for our eyes, our smiles, our minds, and our hearts. We want to be your best friend, not just your lover.
We do not always show these desires, due to the effects that our own insecurities have on us. Some of us may dress or act as if we condone, or even encourage, the thoughts or actions that tempt you. But this is not the case.
The heart of a woman is directly correlated to love and relationship. Within us, there is a great desire to be loved, but also a great fear of being used; acting as a protection for that love. We long to be open and vulnerable, yet our hearts are surrounded by walls. From these walls we look out, wondering what each man is looking for. If it is a woman’s heart that a man seeks, then these walls begin to fall—revealing a beauty of great depth beyond her appearances, and her true self.
But if a woman finds that a man seeks only her body, the walls of her heart become as incapable of penetration as the locked gates of a castle. Then whether she allows that man to use her body or not, it is only the shell of her beauty that he will be seeing.
Beyond the physical actions, we as women also fear the battle within men’s minds. And that is why I say that you do not fight thanklessly; we cannot express the depth of our gratitude for you when you fight for our dignity. It is not true that what happens in your mind hurts no one but yourself. What happens in your mind reflects the state of your heart. And we long to be loved by all of you—heart and mind. You cannot be capable of pure love while using our bodies within fantasies that we want no part of, and would not consent to.
So fight on my brother. Wage war not just for our dignity and the love that we desire to share with you, but for your own dignity and strength as a man. Remember too that you do not fight alone. Fight alongside your brothers, encourage one another, and defeat this corrupted reality that seeks to ruin true love.
Take back the custody of your eyes and mind by guiding the desires of your heart towards good. Choose to see us for who we are and restore the human person of its depth and beauty.
The battle is long and tiring, but persevere—for so much depends on it.
“Every man dies, not every man really lives.”
~William Wallace (Braveheart)
With Much Gratitude and Love,
Kaylin Koslosky is finishing up her time at Colorado State University by student teaching at a high school near Denver, where she will be teaching Forensics and Biology. She loves hiking and being outdoors. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Megan Finegan as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.