My small hand reached across the dollar-store’s shelf. I don’t know if it was the roses or swirly script that caught my eye first. But there it was, a notebook covered in fancy, antique designs. My nine-year-old heart craved this book. After all, a romantic-looking notebook would be necessary for journaling about crushes, wedding dress designs, and ultimately, my True Love.

Little did I know that this notebook would change my life.

With exactly a dollar and eight cents, I acquired my prize. Soon after, the novelty of owning such a “romantic” notebook wore off. And frankly, I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t have a “love life” to write about. So, the notebook lay unused under my bed.

About four or five years later, I was listening to a college student talk about “saving herself” for her future husband. She mentioned writing love letters to her future husband. She said it was a great way to think about him, and that it helped her to save her virginity and physical affections for marriage.

I pulled my “romantic” journal out from under my bed. Perfect, I thought. And I began to write letters to my future husband. They weren’t profound or long; sometimes only an “I was thinking about you today,” or, “Just want to say that I love you.”

My life changed. Instead of thinking of my husband as a futuristic dream, I began to see him as a real person. A living, breathing man whom I would marry. If I would be tempted by impure thoughts, I would whip out the journal. I would jot a quick note to him, apologizing for my failures, or telling of my triumphs. On August 10, 2013, I handed this notebook to my new husband. He handed me a pack of letters in return. We both were overwhelmed with the love captured in those letters written days, months, and years before our marriage.

It was super easy, as a young teen, to be swept away in fairy-tale fantasies and crushes. Society, movies, and music equate love with sex, and make a lifetime of breakups and broken hearts seem “normal.” But writing love letters to my husband grounded me in reality. Each moment that I scribbled a note, my future husband was out there–a real man, who I would marry and raise a family with.

You Can Write Love Letters to Your Future Spouse, Too!

• Give yourself a second chance—We all make mistakes and mess up. Even if you’ve given yourself in impure ways, it’s never too late to start writing to your husband. Writing to him can motivate you to embrace purity in a whole new way!
• Get creative—You don’t even need a notebook. You can stick all of your letters in a folder. Or you can put little love notes in a jar. Whatever works best for you, figure it out and go with it!
• Don’t get discouraged—Sometimes, I would be tempted to stop writing letters all together, since I wouldn’t write for weeks or months at a time.It’s pathetic, I would think. I have so few. Don’t let that stop you! Your future spouse will love you and appreciate any number of letters that you write to him/her. Just keep writing!
• Write about anything—Tell him/her about your dreams, hopes, or what you’re excited for in marriage.
• It doesn’t end with marriage—Once you’re married, you can keep secretly writing love letters to your spouse. Whether you hide them around the house or give them directly to your spouse, he/she will love them. One morning, my husband left for an out-of-state trip extremely early. When I woke up later, I found that he had taped love notes all over our apartment! Small gestures like that are wonderful ways to show your love.

Above all, it’s good to ask yourself: “How can I best love my future spouse?”

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AnneMarie Miller is a geeky, weird, and fun-loving woman who enjoys the epic adventures of life in the Midwest with her husband. When she’s not reading, writing, or playing board games, AnneMarie avoids housework and reflects on life’s randomness on her blog, Sacrifice of Love (http://marianninja.blogspot.com).